Steps of confrontation

Imagine the ideal conversation before you go in

This is a recommendation by How God Changes Your Brain – Breakthrough Findings from a Leading Neuroscientist. When we picture an ideal conversation before going in, we are more likely to facilitate it.

Ask and give forgiveness clearly

  • We will ask for forgiveness like this: “I was wrong, I am sorry, Please forgive me”
  • When we share our feelings, we will do it like this: “When you …, I feel …”
  • Be quick to listen and slow to speak (19)
    • We will let each other finish sentences and thoughts
    • We will make understanding someone else more important than being understood: Listen truly, don’t prepare what you want to say

Anger never works

Throughout dozens of studies the finding is the same: Anger only provokes more anger. It always derails communication by interrupting the Frontal lobe. You act unirrational and cannot even tell. Speak slowly and calmly.


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