Steps of confrontation
- Before the conversation
- Pick the right time
- Pre-conversation preparation
- Imagine the ideal conversation before you go in
- Hold a compassionate thought
- Breathe deeply and untense
- In the conversation
- Open with kindness
- Soften your voice
- Don’t blame
- Ask and give forgiveness clearly
- Anger never works
- Close with kindness
- Make a time for a follow up report
Imagine the ideal conversation before you go in
This is a recommendation by How God Changes Your Brain – Breakthrough Findings from a Leading Neuroscientist. When we picture an ideal conversation before going in, we are more likely to facilitate it.
Ask and give forgiveness clearly
- We will ask for forgiveness like this: “I was wrong, I am sorry, Please forgive me”
- When we share our feelings, we will do it like this: “When you …, I feel …”
- Be quick to listen and slow to speak (19)
- We will let each other finish sentences and thoughts
- We will make understanding someone else more important than being understood: Listen truly, don’t prepare what you want to say
Anger never works
Throughout dozens of studies the finding is the same: Anger only provokes more anger. It always derails communication by interrupting the Frontal lobe. You act unirrational and cannot even tell. Speak slowly and calmly.
Origin
Transclude of How-God-Changes-Your-Brain-–-Breakthrough-Findings-from-a-Leading-Neuroscientist#anger-never-works